I laugh only to keep from crying...or worse...

Let me first start by saying....I love my children. Each and every one of them. They are the reason I get up in the morning...literally, they cry and make me get out of bed to attend to their needs. :) But really, they are the meaning to my life. They are my calling and duty on this Earth.

But there are times I find myself muttering the phrase: "I brought you into this world and gosh dang it, I can take you out of it." This morning has been one of those days....

One of these things is not like the other one, one of these things just isn't the same.... (Imagine the Sesame Street song playing along...)

Here are my curtains from a different angle. (BTW, do you know how difficult it is to take a picture of windows...all that sun just messes it up, as you can see from the previous angle.)

Figured it out yet....one of the sheers from my curtains is missing.

Why? you ask. Well, let me tell you. Owen got poop on them.

While I was cleaning the kitchen this morning he decided to dig in his diapers and smear it all over my window, curtains and ottoman....oh and the couch. (Which was just cleaned FRIDAY from the last poop smearing incident.)

So I change Owen's diaper and get him cleaned up. Then I attack the couch with my "Kids and Pets" cleaner (which I highly recommend and need to pick up some more because Owen dumped 1/4 of the bottle out in the kitchen last week). I then clean the ottoman and window. I decided to wash the curtain, so it sits in my laundry room waiting until I have the energy.

After a little yelling on my part and a well placed spank (I'm not so proud of it, but I'm being honest here) I hoped this would put an end to it....as you can now see....

IT DID NOT!

Most people have children who use markers and crayons to color on the wall. My child is a bit more...um..."earthy" and uses his poop instead.

This second incident occurred while I was eating lunch. Logan had gone into the bathroom to go potty and Owen was over "talking" to him. I went over to check on Logan and find this smelly mess waiting for me.

He wiped it on the textured wall (which BTW, do know how much it SUCKS to get poop out of textured wall....take my word for it....it SUCKS big time.)

He got it on the white door and door jam and also on the floor.

That child is wearing my patience thin. I just don't know what to do with him. If I'm not physically holding him, he is getting into something....dumping EVERY SINGLE toy out of the toy bin, cooking a squash in the toaster oven, dumping cleaning solution on the kitchen counter, dumping his cough syrup on the counter, floor and himself, opening vitamins then half eating them then spitting them out, coloring on my couch with pink highlighter, then coloring on the other couch with green marker.....that is a small sample of what the kid can do.

I try to give him attention. We snuggle on the couch in the morning and watch Curious George together, we read library books over and over until I almost have them memorized (I now know a lot about dinosaurs and garbage trucks), I talk to him about things that he likes, but I can't spend every hour of every day babysitting him. I have a 6 month old who needs to be fed every 2-3 hours and I actually have to run a functioning household with clean laundry, clean dishes and food for people to eat....

Hopefully this is a phase and he will get over it, but until then....please pray for Owen and ME.

No, I didn't kill him. He is sleeping...Look how stinking adorable he is....If only he were this good while awake...